Bechamel in Marseille

So looking at Jessica Biel’s hot ass makes me want to do her workout routine..(courtesy of Fitsugar

Jessica Biel’s Workout:

• Stretch: One of her favorite warm-ups is the walking lunge. “This stretches the larger leg and glute muscles,” says Walsh. How-to: With feet together, lunge first with right leg. Bring left foot alongside right. Lunge with left. Do 8-10 per leg.
• Cardio: “It’s the cardio that leans her out,” says Walsh. After a ½-mile jog, they hit the track for two 200-meter, 150-meter and 100-meter sprints.
• Core: “Hanging leg raises don’t build a six-pack, but they flatten,” says Walsh. “Jessica hates them, but she powers through!” How-to: Hanging from a high bar or rings, pull knees up slightly above waist. Do three sets of 15 repetitions.
• Plyometrics: “These hurt,” says Walsh of stair jumping. “Even athletes hate them. After Jessica did these the first time, she would’ve punched me if she had the energy.” How-to: Jump from the bottom step of a flight of at least 20 stairs to the third. Keep going, skipping a stair each jump.
• Weight Training: “We tend to use lighter weights and do more reps,” he says. “We keep moving, so it becomes a cardio workout too.”
• For the waist: They do the Russian Twist. Sit down and lean back slightly. Hold a 5-lb. medicine ball and twist from side to side, 15 twists per side, three reps.
• For shoulders/biceps: Stand with knees slightly bent. Hold 10-lb. weights in each hand. Curl to chest. Rotate hands, palms face outward. Press overhead together. Do 3 sets of 10-12 reps.

Seems pretty easy enough, except for those goddamn sprints. I HATE RUNNING with a passion. I used to do them when I was on swim for high school (yes I haven’t worked out regularly in that long) and still hated them. Granted though I’m getting a bit jiggly (which is much abused by the boyfriend as he lovingly pats them every night) I decided “hell I can do this!”
Then I looked at her fucking diet:

• “Clean foods”— those that aren’t processed—are on the menu Walsh created. “She eats complex carbs at the beginning of the day,” he says, “and tapers off by the end.”
• Breakfast: 1 cup of oatmeal with handful of berries.
• Snack: 1 slice whole wheat toast, 1-1 ½ tbsp. of almond butter and sliced bananas on top.
• Lunch: Salad with 5-6 oz of chicken, vinaigrette dressing.
• Snack: A banana, apple or strawberries.
• Dinner: 6oz. of fish, plate full of veggies, 1/2 cup of low-glycemic basmati rice. Sweets A couple of pieces of dark chocolate.

WTF?? Who can eat on this diet? Where is the occasional fried food? Nothing oily? I’ve already broken her diet today by eating half of a bahn mi, couple pieces of hello Panda cookie, and now a pita stuffed with salami, tzatziki, and lettuce. And that is all she eats? Fuck that. I”m going to go home and have fried chicken…

I decided that life is too short to diet. I shared a 2l of coke this weekend with the boyfriend and had Mcdonalds. And my BMI is still underweight! BOO YAH Jessica Biel. My Asian genes are FAR more superior to your white ones. Yes you may have to eat like nothing to keep your “fabulous” body, but I do a couple of jumping jacks and sit ups at night and I still fit into my size 2 jeans…

My lord, I would be so huge if I was a white girl….