Bechamel in Marseille

Currently Playing Absolution By Muse see related

HA HA

Men are officially stupid

Read here

Currently Playing Final Straw By Snow Patrol see related

Mood:

Exhuasting weekend…..filled with snow, games, long choir practices,…and prayer

Oh don’t worry I had fun, just tiring. I went to Camp Cedar Falls for a church retreat. Nature decided to dump two feet of snow on us, so a snowball fight naturally ensued. We all exerted ourselves heartily, then more choir practice. We had a performance there, which was interesting. The age of most of the kids there were about……15. So while feeling old, we managed to enjoy ourselves in the snow.

My brother finally came back. (yay). He got me some very good vodka (good job), a russian shawl, and a audioslave cd, interestingly enough. The cd also came with a warning that the cd was made from cleared poulty and/or other meat products, so I shouldn’t leave it on the counter.  

I finally talkd to Tim this weekend. I realized I aged 5 years from last year to this year. Since when did I become so old and responsible? This whole thing is a bit disturbing, but yet at the same, everyone around me is breathing a sigh of relief. It seems strange not to be the oddball, the one that everyone is embarrassed of, the one that everyone thinks need fixing. My exisitence is starting to look frighteningly normal, and I’m not sure if I want to continue on this road yet. I’m still the same sadistic, sarcastic, contraditing, neurotic, and off the wall, yet at the same time I’m not. I still cling to my old ways, my old thoughts, my old feelings, yet something is slowly pushing them out, one by one. They all seem to fall out, and being “normal”, something I would have campaigned against just a year ago, is something I’m slowly accepting.

However, I do know one thing. This whole “new” me is a change, and for once, it feels good just sitting back and watching the world go by, instead of me whipping myself into a frenzy, attempting to be a huge part of it. I don’t know if this is maturity, but yea……it feels good.

I sometimes fear going back to whatever I was before, as if it almost seems inevitable for me to yo-yo back and forth. It almost feels like I’m destined to do it, I’m fighting against the current. I’m walking on a string, trying not to fall, trying not to die.  

I’m still trying to pray…….

Currently Watching Pieces of April By Katie Holmes, Derek Luke, Oliver Platt, Patricia Clarkson see related

So, I thought I would comment on two lovely movies I watched tonight, with my lovely movie partner tim.

Pieces of April

It stars Katie Holmes and an amazing Patricia Clarkson, as a dysfunctional family struggling to get through one thanksgiving meal. Katie Holmes is the outcast daughter, who invites her family to the ghettos of New York, while Patricia Clarkson is her straightlaced, caustic mother dealing with a terminal illness. Her family is just as odd, with a father trying to keep everything together,

a photographer aficianado brother, a high-strung younger sister, and an addled grandmother. Combine it with her black boyfriend, and a couple of screwy neighbors, the plot seems off the wall at first. However, the humanity manages to shine through, and the touching stories manages to transcend its sad topic and allow the audience to laugh at times. I highly recommend the movie, if you have the patience to sit there watch this story unfold, which is does very very well. The low-budget of the film was a bit bothersom at first, but later on contributed to the overall realistic feel of the movie. Also, the director made wonderful use of the photography angle, as the photos also told a provocative story all on its own.

I suddenly miss my brother…..

For those of you who don’t know, he’s in Russia for a student exchange program. Somehow, I miss all the obscene name calling and the rough questions asking for cash. Not for long, he’ll be in college, I’ll be working, and it hit me that these are probably the last few months where we’ll really see each other.

Sigh, forgive my sentinmental mood, I’m just about to face something big in a couple of days, and I realize that whether he wants to admit it or not, he has been the one constant, good  presence in my life.

I miss you fag, come back home safely.

Currently Playing A Crow Left of the Murder By Incubus 8-Southern Girl see related

I know I never post lyrics….but I’ve been playing this song non-stop, and its so perfect on describing me

“Southern Girl”

Is everything a baited hook?
And are there locks on all doors?
If you’re looking for an open book
Look no further, I am yours

We’ll behave like animals
Swing from tree to tree
We can do anything
That turns you up and sets you free

You’re an exception to the rule
You’re a bonafid rarity
You’re all I ever wanted
Southern girl
Could you want me?

So come outside and walk with me
We’ll try each other on to see if we fit
And with our roots, become a tree
To shade what we make, under it

We’ll behave like animals
Swing from tree to tree
We can do anything
That turns you up and sets you free

You’re an exception to the rule
You’re a bonafide rarity
You’re all I ever wanted
Southern girl
Could you want me?